Girl Talk

Today I finally had time to relax and watch TV. I started to watch Season 4 of Sex and the City, which is one of my favorite shows (and movies). I started thinking about friends and groups of girlfriends in particular.


The ladies of Sex and the City seem to have a perfect group of friends, balanced, even numbers so no one feels left out, etc. But in real life groups of girlfriends are nothing like this. In fact, groups of girlfriends, that I have seen at least, are not exactly cohesive and deal with major issues of jealousy and competition.

If you have ever seen girls interact, even best friends, you can see that there is always an issue of competition. Whether its subtle or obvious, even the best group of girlfriends has this issue. Another issue is that friends change over time; lives get busy and people settle down and get jobs, families, spouses, etc. Somehow the ladies of Sex and the City have no issues leaving their kids at home and going out to a club. I don't know many 40-year old women who do that. I also don't know many girls who go out with their friends to a club and don't get even the teensiest bit jealous when their friends get hit on and they don't. Which brings me to my second problem: talking about each other behind their backs.


Sadly, the fact that girls talk about each other behind their backs is more than a cliche; it is a harsh reality. If you are a female, you WILL absolutely have nasty, hateful things said about you behind your back, and it will at one point be from one of your closest friends. It is an inevitable truth that I never understood. All girls have an intuition about each other that I don't think men can ever fully understand. They can take one look at each other and love or hate each other, with no reason other than gut feeling. I have gone to countless parties and social events where another girl and I catch each others' eyes and I know instantly that one of two things is the cause: either they want to be friends or they will talk about you and give you the cold shoulder. More often than not there are some circumstances, whether its personal jealousy or them feeling threatened by you, they are going to talk. The fact of the matter is, women are threatened by each others success. I personally believe that this is partly due to biological evolution. There are more women than men in the world, so they must compete with each other for resources. This is not limited to male resources, we compete for every resource imaginable: looks, bodies, boobs, butts, brains, money, etc.



The bottom line is this: the bottom line is this, while there are great groups of girlfriends that can be happy for each other and be lifelong friends, they are extremely rare. Groups of girlfriends like the Sex and the City ladies are a myth fed to women by the media. In fact, they are just as much of a myth as the idea of a prince charming who will sweep you off your feet. Both are something you believe in jr. high, but when you grow up you are faced with the harsh reality that life is not a fairy tale.


With all that said, it's definitely something I'd like to believe in. I'd like to think that somewhere out there there is a group of really great girl friends who aren't cold, bitchy, fake, or insincere. And I do have some great friends. Those of you with great friends, count yourselves lucky.