Lovely. It's a word that's pretty much disappeared from our vocabulary in the 21st century. It's not used to describe many things, much less women. It's also not a word that most women would consider to be a compliment. Many would disagree. But imagine someone comes up to you (or your girlfriend for any men reading this) and says "You're lovely and charming". Now imagine someone says "You're hot". I think that most young women would prefer to be seen as hot.
I think young women have what I'd like to call Cosmo syndrome. We've all read Cosmo magazine. I'm not bashing on it. But let's break it down, shall we? What is always on the cover of Cosmo ever single month? The word SEX. Written just like that. In big, bold letters. What's the point of most of the articles in Cosmo? How to be sexy. And not just sexy. Blow-your- boyfriends- mind-raunchy-sexy. The object of every guy's fantasy. Well, I'm sure that has its place. But you know what that translates to? That sex is the way to sell yourself. It means your value comes not only from your looks, but from men's opinion of your looks. It means that the standard of beauty in our society is oversexed. When 8 year-old girls have ditched the wholesome, wide-eyed Barbie doll for the slanted-eyed slutted up Bratz dolls, you know our standards of beauty have hit an all-time low.
I call it Cosmo vs Vogue syndrome. Cosmo is youth, Vogue is older women. Younger women have shunned classy and lovely in favor of attention-getting sexy attire. And its not just clothes, its attitudes that have changed, as well. Believe me, I have a 14-year old brother and the Myspace pictures of his teenybopper classmates should be in Playboy. They stare seductively into the camera, eyes tempting, lips slightly parted, their newly discovered breasts jutting out towards the camera in low cut tops. I see this attitude even in college. I step into a trendy club and see young women gyrating like strippers, legs open, bending over, all for the attention of a male. Or at a college party, I see educated young women drunk and stumbling around. Nothing lovely about such behavior. Sexy, maybe. It's like the Kanye West song, "Drunk and Hot Girls". No wonder girls think that's what guys want.
I don't claim to know what guys want, and frankly, I don't care what they want. If they want a girl who shows her goodies like a display in a candy store, they can have at it. Because that is all it is: a display. And it seems that this is what we're raising women to be: a display, a show. Young celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears aren't taken seriously, they exist in the media for show. And we keep them there because we like the show. Where's the substance? Sexy is not fashion. Sexy is not style. Sexy is not glamour. And sexy doesn't even mean attractive. There's nothing wrong with looking sexy, but when sexy is equated with style and genuine beauty then we have a problem. So I, for one, am borrowing a phrase from Justin Timberlake, and saying let's bring lovely back ladies. Charm, style, poise, elegance, and genuine beauty is what lasts. When you're 50 you can't be sexy like you were in your 20's. But you can be gorgeous, radiant, and most of all, lovely.
Need ideas? Here's some inspiration from Penelope Cruz, Marchesa, Oscar de la Renta, and the one and only Audrey Hepburn:
I call it Cosmo vs Vogue syndrome. Cosmo is youth, Vogue is older women. Younger women have shunned classy and lovely in favor of attention-getting sexy attire. And its not just clothes, its attitudes that have changed, as well. Believe me, I have a 14-year old brother and the Myspace pictures of his teenybopper classmates should be in Playboy. They stare seductively into the camera, eyes tempting, lips slightly parted, their newly discovered breasts jutting out towards the camera in low cut tops. I see this attitude even in college. I step into a trendy club and see young women gyrating like strippers, legs open, bending over, all for the attention of a male. Or at a college party, I see educated young women drunk and stumbling around. Nothing lovely about such behavior. Sexy, maybe. It's like the Kanye West song, "Drunk and Hot Girls". No wonder girls think that's what guys want.
I don't claim to know what guys want, and frankly, I don't care what they want. If they want a girl who shows her goodies like a display in a candy store, they can have at it. Because that is all it is: a display. And it seems that this is what we're raising women to be: a display, a show. Young celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears aren't taken seriously, they exist in the media for show. And we keep them there because we like the show. Where's the substance? Sexy is not fashion. Sexy is not style. Sexy is not glamour. And sexy doesn't even mean attractive. There's nothing wrong with looking sexy, but when sexy is equated with style and genuine beauty then we have a problem. So I, for one, am borrowing a phrase from Justin Timberlake, and saying let's bring lovely back ladies. Charm, style, poise, elegance, and genuine beauty is what lasts. When you're 50 you can't be sexy like you were in your 20's. But you can be gorgeous, radiant, and most of all, lovely.
Need ideas? Here's some inspiration from Penelope Cruz, Marchesa, Oscar de la Renta, and the one and only Audrey Hepburn:
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