Just A Minimum

Let me begin with a quote from comedian Dane Cook. He says that sometimes, relationships are bad. He calls these "relation-s--ts". With the divorce rate now above 50% according to a recent study, it appears that this is is true for more than half of relationships in our society. Why is this the case, and how are the nature of relationships and their problems changing?

One factor is certainly the rise of technology. What did people do before booty call texts, late night phone calls, cyber sex, and the easy availability of internet porn? All these factors make it so much easier to flirt and cheat without your partner ever knowing. In fact, one-third of divorce litigation is a result of online affairs. Furthermore, according to an attorney survey, one of the fastest rising causes of divorce is a spouse's addiction to Internet pornography (stats are available here).

According to another recent study, "about 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage" says Monogamy Myth author and therapist Peggy Vaughn. This means that more than half of marriages will experience infidelity. Most infidelities happen in the workplace. Scared yet?


With all this said, not every relationship is doomed for failure. It seems as though there are many cultural factors than contribute to the rise of infidelity. As mentioned before, the rise of technology is certaintly part of it, with flirtacious texts being sent every minute. However, it also seems that in today's culture, people just stopped appreciating each other. And many couples probably shouldn't be married in the first place. But it just seems like in all relationships, including friendships, are suffering from a lack of genuine care and appreciation. It can't help but seem that the world is getting more immersed in a self-absorbed culture that is never satisfied or appreciative. Instead, everyone is concerned with how much more they can get: how much more money, a bigger house, a nicer car, a better mate, etc. This ecology of "more," combined with the rise of a self-absorbed population, is a cesspool for infidelity. It seems that when you don't appreciate your partner, then of course straying, flirting, and cheating is not going to be an issue. It seems that society has forgotten the advice of Lauryn Hill when it comes to respect, appreciation and relationships: "Respect is just a minimum".